Last night as I went to sleep, for the first time in a couple of months, I didn’t listen to any of the tracks Trevor has recorded for me in and around our sessions.
You see, I feel I am ready to let my own unconscious brain take over now. I think it has received the messages in the tracks and can learn on it’s own now.
This morning I woke up and felt, well I think the best phrase is “a bit meh!”.
Which is the way I have felt when I’ve woken up for weeks. Which is why I started running. Which is why I wrote about choosing your mood.
I have been increasingly frustrated by not feeling happy. By carrying a cloud of misery everywhere I go. Why? There is nothing wrong. I am, to all intents and purpose fixed.
And then I realised.
I can choose to be a happy person who occasionally feels miserable instead of a miserable person who occasionally feels happy.
It’s that simple. I just need to think of myself differently. This is, after all, about reprogramming my brain and that is down to me.
So that’s it. As of today I am a happy person.
And do you know what? I think today has been a little easier because of that. Because up until now I have constantly been trying to understand what is wrong with me and why I am so miserable without reason. Today I didn’t need to waste energy doing that because I’m not actually miserable! Hoorah!
Well sort of. I may not be miserable but I’m not really happy either, but I’ll work on that. I’m still learning!