The Moiderer

Living in an alternate reality

There is some imposter living my life right now.

I don’t know who she is but she’s having a great time.

How dare she steal my life and have more fun with it than me!

This woman has come into my life and chosen to live it very differently. She trained for and ran the London Marathon in my body – something that only 1% of the population achieve in their lifetimes. The cheek of it!

She is training to be a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, has set up a website and is in the process of converting my garage so she can set up in business. She has been successfully helping many people along the way as she completes her training.

This woman has found a happiness and appreciation of my life in a way that I have struggled so much to do.

At first I was pretty miffed at the woman. How dare she!

Then I was jealous of what she was able to do with the same life and same resources as I have.

Now I am in awe of what she has achieved. I am watching her and trying to learn from her.

Because one day I hope that I can be her.

1 week on from the marathon

I can’t believe that this time last week I had run the London Marathon. My first ever race. My first ever time running with anyone else around.

I don’t do things by halves do I?

I am happy with my recovery. But let me summarise just for the record of it how it’s gone.

I went into the race with two injuries. A groin strain which had limited my training in the last 3 weeks but was pretty much gone on the day and a very sore knee from taking a tumble. Although this was still bad on the day it didn’t seem to be any worse for the running and I really didn’t notice it.

By the end of the race I didn’t want to be standing at all. My leg muscles were agony. Interestingly my feet were fine. There were no blisters from rubbing socks or trainers and my feet weren’t even tired. This is probably thanks to my anchor which gave me the feeling of sticking my feet into a cool stream.

Sunday afternoon and evening my legs remained agony. Someone mentioned that they would be worse on Monday. Thanks for that! Unfortunately they were right but there was nothing I could do about it. I had a hot bath on Sunday but when I woke I couldn’t move in bed hardly at all. It felt like I had a groin strain on the other leg!

On Monday I drove to Blackpool. Sitting down all day was great. Getting in and out of the car at services not so! As Monday progressed the legs eased up but my right foot became painful along the outside edge.

By Tuesday my legs were mostly recovered and the feeling of the groin strain had all but gone. But my foot was getting really bad. I used Escuedero (a Cognitive Hypnotherapy technique) on my foot so I could dress up with my nice shoes for the black tie event. This worked so well that I went to bed thinking my foot was getting better! I realised I was wrong when I woke up early on Wednesday and drove home. It was getting worse.

On Thursday I checked out some stuff online and decided it looked like a stress fracture but the solution was to rest for about 3 weeks which is what I was doing anyway.

Meanwhile my big toe which already had a half black nail started feeling quite sore and looking pretty dodgy. It was getting hard to put socks and trainers on but if I wore my sandals it didn’t support my right foot enough! This wasn’t helped when the little one dropped her boot on it, stood on it and then a little boy knocked a heavy basket onto it in Hobbycraft. There was silent swearing and there were few tears as I reached the absolute limit of what I could cope with.

Then when everything was at its worst I noticed that actually there was a huge blister under the toenail. I had noticed that during the marathon that toe was rubbing when I walked so I guess it was almost a bone blister so had taken longer to develop.

Last night I attacked it with a pin…oh my, that was a big blister! It was so much better after! The throbbing stopped and I could bear to have it touched. A good nights sleep and it was way better. Now it’s started to build up a little again after being out in trainers all day but I’ll do the same tonight and tomorrow I’m sure it will be mostly healed.

I decided I would probably go and see a doctor about my foot this week but today it’s been way better so fingers crossed I won’t need to.

My knee is still really sore. Not sure what that’s all about either.

So I know it doesn’t sound like it but recovery has been pretty good. My legs are fine and I’m planning on heading to the gym tomorrow morning for a spell on the rowing machine and a swim. It’ll be nice to get back to activity. Then hopefully in a week I’ll be able to resume my short run before work everyday.

Saturday Snapshots

This is going to be a little different. It’s a selection of pictures from my last week including a trip down to London to run the marathon.

This is why I love Twitter–My Marathon support

Donnabbi @The_Moiderer @ThinkingSlimmer amazing well done,

hope your not in too much pain over next few days! Bigwell done hug

from me and Abbi! Xx

dawn1968 @The_Moiderer you did fab - well done!

pennynash Sticking to phone for a bit as tweetdeck only sent tweets

to facebook. How is @The_Moiderer supposed to know I said congrats

when it went fb

Chez_Mummy @The_Moiderer Congratulations on  completing the

course. What an achievement, you must be really proud x

Clarrirahaha @The_Moiderer fantastic achievement.Congratulations.

MrsMummyN @The_Moiderer Well done! Amazing achievement.

Missus_F @The_Moiderer well done Dawn. Fantasticachievement. xx

peewii @The_Moiderer well done you! X

eggdipdip @The_Moiderer @thinkingslimmer 

@unitedarinm@jbeccx you're an inspiration, all of you :-)

kroddis @The_Moiderer well done!! Xx

mamboe29 I'm sooo proud of you!!! RT @The_Moiderer:(...) I just finished the London Marathon!

mamboe29 @The_Moiderer congratulations!! Was getting worried as site was not reloading! Congrats!!!

brtnz @The_Moiderer well done! Enjoy that beer or three

copperhobnob @The_Moiderer Well done! Such a huge achievement!

ThinkingSlimmer @eggdipdip they are brilliant. Gonna have a whole  team next year!! @The_Moiderer @unitedarinm@jbeccx up for  another!!???!!

InsomniGnT @The_Moiderer congratulations. What an achievement  xx

Binnsy29 @The_Moiderer amazing work lady. What an achievement x

elliebaby2003 “@The_Moiderer: Just in case you weren't tracking me - I've just finished the London Marathon!”-brilliant! Well done! :-)

mugofdecaf @The_Moiderer congratulations!! So pleased for you x

leahfabulous @The_Moiderer congrats to you!!

apregnantpause Whoop whoop RT @TheBoyandMe: Oh well done @the_moiderer! 6hrs 21min and she's finished the...  (more) http://t.co/oxDX7M6H

newdaynewlesson @The_Moiderer congrats hun

jayelle21 @The_Moiderer xxxxxxxx

Mill_HillGirl @The_Moiderer well done!

ThinkingSlimmer @The_Moiderer I've just shed a few tears. You are such fab people - all three of u.xx

eggdipdip @The_Moiderer @thinkingslimmer awesome!Well done! You all look frozen, poor things.

vegemitevix @The_Moiderer Congratulations! Great effort.x

_Mushypea @The_Moiderer Very, very well done. You did fab!

DarrenGriffin @The_Moiderer Well done! Massive admiration!!

apprentice_hw @The_Moiderer fantastic,well done you,huge  admiration x

needaphone @The_Moiderer Well done

tiddlyompompom @The_Moiderer hot bath for you! Huge congratulations x

clairelh @The_Moiderer massive well done!

Woozlehound @The_Moiderer Congratulations Dawn -you're amazing!! I always knew you'd get round :o)) xxx

mousegirly @The_Moiderer @thinkingslimmer well done!!!!!

LovelyDutchie @The_Moiderer you all look exhausted but over the moon happy! @ThinkingSlimmer

ClaireGoodi @The_Moiderer ohhhh congrats!

thnkngmnscrmpt @The_Moiderer well done, Dawn.

radioflick @The_Moiderer @ThinkingSlimmer What a gorgeous photo. A day none of you will forget for sure. You will all sleep tonight for certain : )

moormummy @The_Moiderer Well done :-D

habzamaphone @The_Moiderer Congratulations! :D

northernmum1 @The_Moiderer well bloody done dawn x

babydalek @The_Moiderer congrats. Must of missed u was be black friars. But cheered many on. Well done dawn well done

smiley_b_ @The_Moiderer Well done Dawn!

twopointfourchi @The_Moiderer wohoooooo fantastic time well done xxxx

fluffyduffy @The_Moiderer well done you! Xxxx

Jordanfleet @mummylimited She certainly is! Well done again @The_Moiderer

Oddgit @The_Moiderer There's quite a party going on over on facebook ;)

wouldliketobe @EviesGran @The_Moiderer well done. Its always been a goal of mine to do one x

AdventuresEM @The_Moiderer Well done Dawn!! You have done amazingly well! Yay! #londonmarathon x

jayelle21 @The_Moiderer I was tracking you and WOOOOOO HOOOOO!!! Well done Dawn! So pleased foryou! Xxxxxx

mummylimited I am in awe of @The_Moiderer. She's amazing, yes?

mumonthebrink RT @theboyandme: Oh well done @The_Moiderer! 6hrs 21min and she's finished the #londonmarathon2012 good work that woman, so proud of you!

LexxClarke Brilliant, congratulations! RT @The_Moiderer:Just in  case you weren't tracking me - I've just finished the London Marathon!

Stamptasticltd @The_Moiderer huge congratulations to you!

TalesofaTwinMum @The_Moiderer well done you! Hope u have an amazing evening celebrating your hugeachievement. Xx

F_a_B_ @The_Moiderer well done!!!

vwallop @the_moiderer Congratulations! Amazing!

fenngirl @The_Moiderer Well done! What an achievement:D x

BlondeBondGirl @The_Moiderer. WELL DONE Dawn! Ufinished!!!  Now time for starbucks!

EviesGran @The_Moiderer oh great. Congratulations. Really well done!

Amarranth @The_Moiderer well done you! What a brilliant time! (I tracked you hehe)

julesey10 @The_Moiderer well done! :)

nickie72 Yay!! @The_Moiderer has finished the#londonmarathon!!  Really really well done Dawn. #vlm2012

scribblingmum @The_Moiderer wow, well done you. You should be hugely proud. Now go EAT!!

liveotherwise @The_Moiderer Wahey, congratulations!

LettyP1 @The_Moiderer well done, what an amazing achievement :)

tiddlyompompom whoop! Well done you! “@The_Moiderer: Just in case you weren't tracking me - I've just finished theLondon Marathon!”

chickenruby “@The_Moiderer: Just in case you weren't tracking me - I've just finished the London Marathon!” well done Dawn @peekaywrites

Talkloads @The_Moiderer hoooooorrrraaaaayyyyyy!!!Congratulations! And you even have the strength to tweet! X

PaulEvanssheff @The_Moiderer well done Dawn.

LovelyDutchie @The_Moiderer Woohooooooooo!!!!!Wonderful!!!!! Fantastic!!!! I am soooo proud of you!!!Xoxoxoxo

Adrienne65 Congratulations @the_moiderer completed the #LondonMarathon in 06:21:15

caroleheidi @The_Moiderer you are amazing :) Well done you x

Vallayrhos @The_Moiderer Long day, well done. Last bit tough...

loonylis @The_Moiderer well done!

mi_shmash @The_Moiderer congratulations :)

JUSTJUGGLING @The_Moiderer oh well done!!!!Amazing!!! Get those feet rested.

MissJenipenni @The_Moiderer Have been following your progress Dawn, well done! You are awesome :)

Twirlybean @The_Moiderer woooooo hoooooooo!!!Congrats:) hope you are in one happy piece!

aberry @The_Moiderer well done :)

babberblog @The_Moiderer yay!! Well done you! Amazing:-) Now make sure you're looking after yourself.

greybarn @The_Moiderer well done dawn. bet you are relieved its over. you can chill out now...job done!!

WeeWifie1981 bloody well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D  RT@The_Moiderer: Just in case you weren't tracking me - I'vejust finished the London Marathon!

ERMurray Good luck to everyone running the LondonMarathon today  @The_Moiderer

susankmann Thinking of the amazing @The_Moiderer running the

London Marathon today. I wish you all the luck in the world.

You can do it x

copperhobnob @the_moiderer good luck, not that you'll need it!

northernmum1 Go dawn!!! @The_Moiderer

tattooed_mummy Massive good wishes for /  RT@The_Moiderer: I'm ready for my run http://t.co/62JRB4s/

running the marathon today

JudeandOllie @The_Moiderer good luck hun xxx

plus2point4 @the_moiderer Good luck Dawn x#londonmarathon

Scottish_Mum @the_moiderer good luck today x

eggdipdip Pom poms at the ready to cheer on@The_Moiderer today

*limbers up ready to do the splits, pullsa muscle*

B4kersgirl Good luck to @The_moiderer today, running the London marathon x

Soggous Good luck for #VLM, friends

@damianclapham@Pete_Luxford @Lisa_Luxford and

@EnduroRunner andtwitter friend @The_Moiderer, and anyone else!

MummyLion @The_Moiderer good luck!! I'll be thinking of you, have fun :) xx

moors_mummy @The_Moiderer good luck, enjoy it!

Oddgit @The_Moiderer on your marks... get set... GO ! ;)

_Mushypea @The_Moiderer Have a great run and enjoy it :)

twopointfourchi @The_Moiderer good luck hope you aren't too nervous

pennynash @The_Moiderer good luck. Enjoy it

JUSTJUGGLING @The_Moiderer go Dawn!!! Good luck x

Domesticated_V @The_Moiderer good luck hun x

_katie_bailey @The_Moiderer another picture of you!!You're spoiling us ;0) good luck!!!!!!!!

Talkloads @The_Moiderer good luck Dawn! Just picture a huge Starbucks waiting at the other end for you!

alittlewife Good luck to all those running the London Marathon today, especially @The_Moiderer good luck, good luck, good luck!

pocket_punk @The_Moiderer Best of luck

habzamaphone Good luck today to @The_Moiderer! Run like the opposite of the wind (or you'll get tired too quick). ;)

Adrienne65 Good luck to all those running in the #Marathon esp  @JonathanAnsell @Jai_McDowall @the_moiderer 

@Jennifalconer & bloke from work called Iain

mehimandtwomore @The_Moiderer 

pinkyaks @The_Moiderer GOOOOOOODLUUUUUUUUCK!!!!  You are going to be AMAZINGxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Joelleharris RT @liveotherwise: RT @snafflesmummy: Sending massive massive good luck vibes to @The_Moiderer on her

London marathon run today.

MrsMummyN @The_Moiderer Good luck!

SunnivaAnne @The_Moiderer good luck today... Can't wait to hear your time x

RedTedArt RT @snafflesmummy: Sending massive massive good luck vibes to @The_Moiderer on her London marathon run today. <<'ere 'ere GOOD LUCK! GO YOU

liveotherwise RT @snafflesmummy: Sending massive massive good luck vibes to @The_Moiderer on her London marathon run today. Will be cheering for you <this

snafflesmummy Sending massive massive good luck vibes to @The_Moiderer on her London marathon run today. Will be cheering for you

The award dinner

So this is me.

2 days after running the London Marathon, dressed up for my awards dinner.

We won an award. We didn’t win the overall one but at least we won.

It was ok. I wasn’t too traumatised and thanks to using some of my Cognitive Hypnotherapy pain management techniques I was actually ok walking in the shoes too!

So that’s another thing done.

Dawn wore a dress and survived.

Thankyou for all of your advice on outfit selection.

My marathon tips for non-runners

So you've read all my posts and for some inexplicable reason you've decided that you too would like to run the marathon. What words of wisdom can I share?

1. The biggest part of the commitment is the training. For 4 months before you will need to find time to do something like : one 30 minute interval run, one 30 minute reasonable pace run, two cross training sessions of about 45 minutes, one long run which gets up to 3 hours close to the day. These are not optional. There is no more "i don't feel like it" or "the weather isn't good enough".
2. If you don't enjoy running you might want to consider taking up a different sort of challenge to the marathon. Any love of running you may have is severely tested by the schedule in point 1 above. It is no longer your choice to get out there and that's tough. The moonwalk is a good alternative. It's a marathon distance but at a walk.
3. Stick to a training plan. No proper training plan will have you run 26.2 miles before the big day. A good plan allows you to go into the day believing you can do it.
4. Invest in the right kit very early on. The challenge with training is that you don't have all the great support that you have during the event i.e. there is noone stood by the side of the road handing you water, there are no mile markers etc. I wore my trusty old trainers and specialist running socks. After the marathon I didn't have any blisters or sore bits. In fact I didn't even have sore feet! I use a Garmin Forerunner watch for tracking my runs and pace. I use a Nathan hydration rucksack for carrying water, gels and my phone. I also always had £20 with me in case I needed a taxi or something. I ran in all this kit on the day because I was used to it. I saw lots of people with new trainers and felt very sorry for them. There is a cost to this so think about that too before you commit.
5. If you are injured rest. Swap to a different exercise that puts zero pressure on your injury. Make sure you have a physio ( I know I didn't but I'm stupid). There is a real urge to stick to your schedule and the more you push it, the longer you are likely to be out of the loop. If you're injured or ill, rest. Often a week off is better than a week of exercise!
6. You need to hydrate as you run. Before the marathon training I never took a drink on a run. The right food before and the right hydration is the difference between recovering quickly and feeling permanently exhausted.
7. Carb up. You can't afford to be paranoid about eating healthily when you are running lots. You're body needs fuel. Trust it and eat what you need to (and enjoy it because there will be few other times in your life that you will need to scoff yourself silly!)
8. Don't just try and run further and faster. Marathon training is about balance. The biggest benefit to endurance, weight and fitness is from intervals where you sprint for a couple of minutes, then jog slowly for a minutes then repeat for a number of cycles. Unless you are mad you will probably hate these but they are so good for you they're worth it. They are also pretty good for proving if you have the mental strength for the marathon. If you can do these despite hating them you should be fine.
9. Blog about it. When you have a crisis in confidence you can look back on early posts and see how far you have come. I looked back and saw that this time last year I was considering extending my run to 2 miles once a week to really stretch myself.
10. If you are going to do it with someone else, make sure you've run with them before the day itself. By all means support each other through the training but the marathon is ultimately between your head and the 26.2 miles. Just because you don't finish together, it doesn't mean you don't share the achievement.

That's about it (unless I have an idea later!). My last bit of advice would be to let your family read my blog on my marathon and this post because it will take a LOT if your time away from them and if they don't support you it's going to be nigh on impossible.

Virgin London Marathon 2012–Done…

I was neither nervous or excited as I waited in what was called a "pen" for the marathon to start. In fact I felt the same as I’d felt all the way through this process – like it wasn’t real. Because the idea of me running the London Marathon is so far beyond my ability to conceive.

Becca and Darin were in front of me. We'd met at Limehouse station and travelled with masses of runners to the red start.

 
Becca and Darin had completed their run prep like pro's while I just stood around. The other runners who were sponsored by Nestle Pure Life had gathered for the PR photo and were discussing their estimated times. 3 hours. 4 hours. I said nothing. Increasingly I felt like I didn’t belong here. I had only run for 3 hours and 13.5 miles.

My plan had been finish the same day I start but then I read that if you didn't finish within 8 hours 15 minutes you didn't get a medal. I hoped for 5.5-6 hours.

But I felt like I didn't belong. I was just along for the ride. I was trusting in my training plan from Full Potential to have prepared me as I shuffled along behind Becca and Darin to the start.

And then we were running. They settled into their 9 minutes running, 1 minute walking routine. They'd done races together before. I tagged along behind. But my brain isn't used to stopping. I am used to a 'keep going whatever' mentality and was finding 9+1 very tough. The problem was, at the time I didn't realise it was that. I just thought I was being crap. I thought that despite following my training plan religiously I wasn’t well enough prepared for this.

Darin and Becca were soaking up the atmosphere and loving it. Darin was reaching out to high 5 all the kids with their arms out. He was like a true celebrity. People called out names from shirt. "Well done Darin" they yelled. My rucksack was covering my name. No-one was yelling Dawn.

I tagged along.

Mile 3 came and it was the first Nestle Pure life water stop. I decided to wait until mile 5 for the Lucozade. I'd been drinking the lite version in my training runs and liked the energy. But this was the full sugar and it was too sweet. It sat heavily on my stomach. After that I grabbed water every time there was a station and drank it before the next. I did well on keeping hydrated but my energy was low. Becca said she was having a gel so I had one. It also sat heavily in my stomach.

Darin kept veering off to shake hands. I tried to concentrate on keeping up. It wasn't working and so , at mile 6 I waved them on. I didn't want to hold them back. After all, I didn't really belong there, doing that. It was their thing. I watched them disappear into the distance and felt useless.

I was only 6 miles in.

I had 20 to go and I was struggling.

But I'd done everything in my training plan. I'd run for 3 hours and this was 1 hour 15 ish. What was wrong with me?! I reached for my phone to look for the amazing support of my Twitter and Facebook friends. It was out of battery. I had a spare but needed it for the finish. I'd messed up my iPod at the start so had put that away.

If I was to finish this, for the next 20 miles I would be on my own.

I told myself I should be enjoying it. I should be getting a boost from the crowds. But I wasn't enjoying it and the crowds were doing nothing for me. I was still jogging. I switched to walking and occasionally jogging because I knew if I was to do this the one thing I must not do is stop.

I ran the 26.2 miles without stopping a single time.

I tried to work out how I could quit. But couldn't find a way I could live with myself if I did. Besides, I couldn't let all of you down. With your encouragement and support and faith in me. All of you out there kept me going.

So I power walked and jogged. I started picking out fellow runners who were keeping pace with me. I went into pattern spotting mode!

• The guy with a full size replica tiger on his back. He finished ahead of me. The crowd yelled "oi mate, you've got a tiger on your back" when he passed and he occasionally stopped to let the kids stroke it.
• There was the overweight lady running on her own. Red faced and struggling, she just kept on slowly jogging along.
• Big Ben scooted off for a wee on the grass (he wouldn't have fitted in the portaloo's) and was followed by St. Pauls and the Gherkin.
• The Oompa Lumpa's who were very tall kept passing me and the audience always sang the tune as they passed.
• If these people could do it then I could.
  

As I reached halfway I was disappointed. My time was around 3 hours. The same as when I was training and walking up hills. I kept swapping between walking and running because it was easier to run - that's what my training prepared me for - but it was more exhausting. Every time I stopped to walk I found it harder.

I passed a few McDonald's and thought about going in for a diet coke and something to eat. Surely it must be lunchtime soon? I grabbed a jelly baby that someone was offering and it gave me a real energy boost. From then on I grabbed a Jelly Baby whenever it was offered. Luckily plenty of people lined the route with Jelly Babies! I kept looking at the crowd trying to get a lift from them. But I needed to just keep going.

Mile 14 was horrible. The course loops and overlaps with mile 22 on the other side. I had 3 more hours to go. They had about 25 minutes and were all running.

It was at around this point I passed Darin and Becca without realising it. They'd stopped for the loo. I stopped for nothing. The one thing I would not allow myself to do was stop.

I couldn't afford to think about the end.  I would get too desperate to finish. I had always said that if all else failed I would just walk it and when I was young I used to go on long walks with my grandmother so was comfortable in the belief that I could walk any distance. So I started pacing myself to about a 15 minute mile. It gave me something to focus on.

I wondered how far ahead of me Darin and Becca were.
I found the course quite boring and kept on reminding myself that I should be enjoying it. Getting a boost from the crowds. I wasn't. I didn't. I wondered why I was doing this but knew that now I had started, I would eventually finish and have that achievement.

3 miles before the end. I knew I'd finish now. I told myself that I easily ran 3 miles at home and started running more. The heavens opened. My Garmin watch ran out of batteries so I couldn’t set a pace. It had been running about 3/4 mile ahead of the actual distance all along anyway. But it’s nice to see the consistency in my splits when I downloaded the data.

Now I had no pace. 3 miles to go.

I wondered if Becca and Darin were now getting dry. I wondered if there would be anyone to meet me. I'd seen No-one along the route. I know Donna was somewhere around mile 3 but hadn't seen her.

I kept turning bends thinking it would be the mall but it wasn't so I had to walk again. Eventually I was on the last straight. The crowds had mostly gone. I looked over at the Nestle Stand and it was empty. I raised my arms and smiled for the photo at the finish and finished the marathon in 6 hours 21 minutes. I got an official photo taken then grabbed a goody bag. I sat down on a dry bit of gravel, scoffed some fruit thing in the bag and swapped my battery to call my friend. We arranged to meet at the place where I was supposed to meet Darin and Becca.

I got there and there was no-one around. So I sat down. I messaged Sandra who I knew would be there for photos at the end. She asked where I was and where Becca and Darin were which confused me! She headed over.

My friend and the little one came over and I gave the little one a big hug. She was soggy from standing in the rain. They had been on the other side of the road yelling at me apparently.

I hadn't noticed.
Then Sandra appeared and then I saw Darin.
"You finished before us" he said.
I looked at him blankly.
He repeated it.

Apparently they'd stopped for the loo around mile 10 which is when I'd caught up and then at mile 16 he got a real problem with his calf that meant they had to walk. Sandra had missed me coming up to the finish but seen and photographed them.

The hubby took a picture of the tracker which show’s I kept a nice even pace all the way. The red/pink line is me, the blue line is Darin and Becca

I am happy with this chart but I would have liked my overall pace to be a little faster.

We had a photograph with our medals (after someone had lifted me up!)

I hobbled off home. My injuries had been fine but 26.2 miles and 6 hours 21 minutes of running and walking meant my legs were totally knackered. Thanks to my anchor my feet weren’t tired though. This was just the muscles in my leg. Overnight on Sunday they got worse and they were agony on Monday but by Tuesday my legs were mostly recovered. So all good.

Just a few people I’d like to blame  thank for running the marathon before I end this marathon post!

Thankyou Becca. If it wasn’t for you, when Nestle Pure Life PR contacted me and asked if I would like to run the marathon I would have said no. Thankyou for preparing so well and being so open in sharing that info and helping and guiding me. I know I am stubborn and I just couldn’t seem to think my way through the logistics. Because of you I knew what to do when I finished the marathon on my own!

Thankyou Darin. You have been my inspiration to run more than 1-2 miles. I saw how you fought to build up your runs and how you succeeded in the GSR and then the Brighton half marathon. It inspired me to prove to myself that I could run those distances. Without that I would never have said yes to running the marathon.

Thankyou Nestle Pure Life. You gave me a once in a lifetime offer that I couldn’t say no to. You provided an excellent company in Full Potential, who write a training plan tailored to me and who were always there for advice. You kept in touch and sorted everything out for me. I feel very lucky to have been given this chance and am delighted that just before we set off we had raised at least £34k for the Samantha Dickson Brain Tumour Trust. I know we will raise more too.

Thankyou to my friends on Twitter and Facebook. Your support kept me going before, during and after the race. You tracked me online, you donated to my charity, and you supported me constantly with messages. This is my Facebook stream after I posted my message

Just in case you weren't tracking me - I've just finished the London Marathon!

• YAY Congrats! 35088 overall, 12080 by gender,7137 by category. Place in my heart? No 1. ;)

I hate the BBC btw - I was watching the (rain soaked) finish cameras - then just as you were due - they switched the flaming things over to snooker!!!!! AAAAARGGHH. Was sat there with camera and everything!

• I was watching too, until they cut off at 4pm
• Official time was 6.21.15 and it cut off at 6.20.00 grrrrrrrrrrr
• You were being tracked all 3 of you! well done! proud of you xxxxxxxx
• Amazing achievement! Well done. Are you going to do another one :-D
• I got knackered just looking at the tracker page!
• And incidentally, Dawn says she's fine. Which is good to know as she had a knackered leg going into it! ;)
• Such an inspiration :) x
• Naah, she'd doing anything to get out of cooking Sunday lunch ;)
• Fine! FINE! she's just run 26 and a bit miles - how can she be fine???!!!
• Count legs - 2 - count working lungs - 2 - that's fine then!
• I'm disappointed - no updates from you whilst running? ;)
  Seriously - WELL DONE! Just brilliant.
• Count blisters - 27 - count aching muscles - all of them?
• Also watching to hope to see you finish. Well done!!
• count non-aching muscles may be better. ;) Count level of urgency for a loo before coming over all Paula Radcliffe... hehe
• Hehe :-D
• Brilliant! Well done Dawn. Just the victory lap now:)
• Amazing. You're a marathon runner! Couldn't believe it when they switched over to the snooker. We'd tracked you all the way and the boys were shouting 'come on'! Well done :)
• Well done! Xxx
• <smiff> I knew you were running round with other men! ;)
• I was tracking you all afternoon...go you! Fantastic, inspirational, a massive well done x
• You have done brilliantly I have been tracking you too! :-) Really well done
• I'm waiting for Marathonfoto to come up with the pic at the finish...
• YOU JUST RAN THE LONDON MARATHON!!!!!!! Gooo you!!! xx
• Amazing well done!
• Fanbloodytastic !!!!
• Well done, Dawn - I was following your update page all day!!
• Well done so impressive xx
• Wow. Amazing!!!
• Well done. An amazing achievement. X
• Well done Dawn, so chuffed for you. Fantastic achievement. You're now a marathon runner for the rest of your life. :-) x
• Soooo impressed Dawn!! WELL done, you're an inspiration! Hugs from Sweden!!
• Congratulations Dawn!
• I was also sat there with my camera (iPad) to take a photo when they bloody turned off, was furious!
• Thanks all. Shame about the bbc but I will have a picture from my finsih to share ;)
• Congratulations! What an amazing achievement! You must feel sore and cream crackered but fab!! xxx
• What an amazing achievement. Well done just isn't sufficient to say! Ax
• Well done Dawn - my sis finished too
• Well done Dawn!!
• Great effort! Well done. The world is definitely at your feet now! Big hugs from here
• lady - lady lady - so impressed! - so pleased for you, now get that gdress on and go get that award!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thankyou Trevor. For helping me to see that life is for living. And for showing me that I have the most amazing people around me that I love to bits.

Thankyou Sandra. You and Thinking Slimmer started this whole journey off. I didn’t just lose weight, but I found myself freakishly wanting to run where I never had before. And because you care so much that the Slimpod works for every single person you picked up the phone to speak to me and changed my life with that one small action. I’m also happy and lucky enough to call you a friend these days.

Thankyou Hubby. Your unerring belief in me is amazing. And despite the disruption the marathon training caused to our lives you never for one minute complained or made me feel bad about doing it. You faith and pride in me since the moment we got together has allowed me to become anything I want to be. Your message on Facebook on the day of the marathon was amazing

I can't begin to say how impressed I am with Dawn. She's taken on this marathon and given it everything. All through the winter she's kept up her training, even the bit she hates (intervals), using the treadmill when it was too horrible to go outside. This is while doing her main job, her second job (the hypnotherapy), spending time with the little one, and, most importantly, going for takeways. You're incredible Dawn. Nice butt too. ;)

I love you more than the world and am so lucky to have you as my hubby.

Dawn, marathon runner, 6 hours 21 minutes.

Am I glad I did it? Yes
Did I enjoy it? No
Would I do it again? Never.

 

By the way the winner of the iPod Shuffle is Hannah Shine with a guess of 6 hours 30 minutes!! I will email you and sort the details out Hannah

Tomorrow I run a marathon

I'm not going to write my really big marathon post today. Because I haven't run the marathon - yet.

I am mostly not too nervous...although I have my moments! The reason is that it is inconceivable that I am running a marathon. I mean, really, a year ago I was 5 stone heavier, unfit and had just started running. I regarded 2 miles as a huge distance and hated every minute of running.

I was not then who I am today.

This morning I attended the Virgin London Marathon at the Exel center. To register to run the marathon tomorrow. I got my number and my tag for my shoes. As I bought an excellent new pair of headphones, and chatted to the different people on the stalls including the Nestle Pure Life and Samantha Dickson Brain Tumour Trust stand, it become clear how crazy this felt. Having only ever run on my own, having only run to clear my head before work and get a little fitter, tomorrow I am running 26.2 miles.

And I will. My training has prepared me for it. I will do it.

Yesterday I reached my thousand pound target for my charity (and some!). This is thanks to the generosity of people, in the main, that I've never met on Twitter. Or people I have met but didn't know before Twitter. On top of that friends from all over the world have donated. And the messages of support are too unbelievable for my mind to process. I guess I am doing something amazing. It doesn't feel that way because since I said yes to Nestle Pure life I have only ever thought about the next step - the plan for the week in training - the registration - the getting down to London. Each of those single steps has led me to a hotel in London with my kit ready to run the marathon tomorrow.

And that is how I will do tomorrow. 1 mile at a time. Until I reach the end. That is the only way I know how.

I will run with 2 amazing people but I'll tell you all about them tomorrow because quite frankly, right now I can only think about 1 thing at a time.

This time tomorrow I will be telling you how I got on.

This time tomorrow I will be a marathon runner.

Hot off the press! Apparently you can track me tomorrow here http://results-2012.virginlondonmarathon.com/2012/

I am number 52257

 

The Marathon–I’m on my way

That’s it. Training is done. Money is (mostly) raised.

Tomorrow I drive down to London to run in the Virgin London Marathon 2012.

I have my vest. I have my gear. I have my injuries!

I am number 52257.

I am in a white vest with Nestle Pure life on it. I will be in a white Thinking Slimmer baseball cap.  Reckon that’s enough to pick me out from 35,000 ish people?!

So here is my schedule

Friday: Set off shortly after 9am and drive down to a hotel next to London City airport and the Excel centre. I am travelling with the little one, by best friend and her daughter who is in her mid-20’s

Saturday: Register at the Excel to get my number and pin etc at 9am. Hopefully Becca will join me even though she’s already registered. Head to Regent’s College at lunchtime to introduce the little one to Trevor who is there training another group of Questies, and to have lunch with a good friend of mine from the course. Then head to Hamley’s with the little one. It’s just round the corner! Then return to the hotel and chill.

Sunday:

• Wake up super early having had no sleep and get breakfast. I then head to the Nestle Pure Life tent to meet everyone and do the PR stuff for 8:30am. After I will meet Darin and Becca
• 9:45am am set off
• 5.5 – 6 hours later cross the finish line.
• I expect it will be a blur but something around meeting my friend, scoffing and getting back to the hotel to collapse.

Monday: Friend takes little one to Kings Cross station and they catch a train back home to Dundee. I drive to Blackpool, get into my hotel and spend the day in the pool or sleeping.I meet my boss for a 1-1 at the end of the day and then hopefully meet up with Lynda who is running the Edinburgh marathon in a few weeks I believe.

Tuesday: Attend conference with work. Do a workshop.Attend gala dinner in the evening and hopefully win the award I have been the lead on.

Wednesday: Drive home early on and attend an all afternoon conference call

Thursday: Day off but off to give a talk at the little one’s school about the Olympics

Friday: Day off

And then things return to normal-ish I think!

I don’t cry

In all the work Trevor and I have done in our sessions, one thing has never happened.

I haven’t cried.

I don’t you see.

And it was one of the things that made me feel like a cold, heartless b**h. And to some degree I still feel that way but I am slowly warming up.

I am sure there was a time when I did cry. After all, all kids cry.

But some kids learn that there is no point. Because no one pays any attention if you do. Or maybe, because when you do you get shouted at and it just draws the worst sort of attention to you. A sort of attention you don’t want.

When I was 6 or 7 I saved my crying until night time, with my head under my pillow. I learnt the art of silent crying where the tears flow but there is no sound. Other than the sound of the arguments, the fists through the door. The anger.

As I got older I learnt that I shouldn’t cry. That it would give away my feelings, that it would make me vulnerable. I couldn’t afford to be vulnerable. I had to be strong. To survive.

So I don’t cry.

And these days, sometimes when the little one is telling me how she will be ok about certain things “if I fall over I won’t cry mummy”, or as I kiss her goodnight “I won’t cry tonight mummy” what do I say to her?

I tell her “It’s ok to cry sometimes. Sometimes we need to cry because something hurts or we’re upset. If you feel like crying, you go ahead and cry darling” and I give her the biggest hug I can because sometimes, we just need to cry don’t we?