The Moiderer

The Gallery–Toy Story

The theme for this week’s Gallery is “The Movies”

Another one I was sure I wouldn’t take part in – then I remembered that this week I bought the little one a Buzz Lightyear costume that she’s been wanting it for ages. She had the choice of Spiderman or Buzz and she chose Buzz from Toy Story

It’s ok – it’s just the little one

This was all put together for this weeks gallery over at sticky fingers where the subject is "The Movies"

Anxiety and Nerves - Pocket Panic Buster

In every day life most of us experience varying degrees of anxiety. Maybe we have an interview or a big presentation to do. Maybe we are meeting someone for the first time. Or maybe just getting out of the front door is enough to make us anxious.

The feeling of nervousness or anxiety is driven from our subconscious.

Believe it or not it is attempting to protect us.

Now you might wonder how getting nervous before an interview is protection. Or even how getting nervous about stepping out the front door is useful?

Think back to the stone age where we had to hunt.

If you came across a predator such as a sabre toothed tiger, then you didn’t have time to evaluate the best option, so run a brainstorming session on the best approach to take. You had to react and do it instantly.

So you had 3 choices

1. Fight – go for it! all out fight the beastie

2. Flight – leg it as fast as you can and hope you’re faster than your fellow hunters (let’s face it as long as you can outrun them you don’t need to worry as much about the sabre toothed tiger)

3. Freeze – don’t move, stay totally still and hope it doesn’t notice you

Each of these responses would be an instant choice based on circumstance but would require a physiological response to make possible.

An increase in heart rate, blood and adrenalin flowing through your system, breathing shorter, ready to give you a burst of physical super juice to allow you to survive.

Do those sound familiar?

What happens when you get really nervous? Do you think about it logically first or do you find that you notice the physical symptoms first?

In the absence of sabre toothed tigers in modern society, our subconscious is still trying to protect us by putting us into fight, flight or freeze mode when it perceives a threat.

There are a few simple things you can do to get yourself more in control. Watch this video to find out how

Recognising that YouTube is not that accessible when you really need it I have developed the Pocket Panic Buster!

 

This is a 4GB MP3 Player that is preloaded with the same techniques as you can see on the YouTube video. For a limited time it is only £10!

It also has the relaxation track on it.

You can click on the picture to get it or go to my website to read all about it or even just buy the MP3 download so you can have it on your phone or whatever device for immediate use.

It really is pocket sized.

It comes with a USB cable for charging and loading (you can put whatever you want on it although I don’t suggest heavy metal – it might shock you at the end of the relaxation track!). It also comes with headphones.

There are a few people evaluating it right now and I will link up their posts once they have written them so you can see feedback from people who’ve had the chance to really experience it.

Read Lisa’s review here

Read Lauren's review here

Read TheBoyandMe’s review here

I will be making a few minor changes to the section at the start on breathing to make it clearer and easier to follow thank to the feedback from Lauren and Lisa.

Saturday Snapshots

Just a collection of photos from the last few days for you today

The Photo Album

So much of who we are is based on those early formative years of our childhood. Our behaviours and decisions in adult life are driven by the memories that are programmed into our subconscious from our experiences at an age where we weren't mature enough to understand fully the world around us.

They're not buried deep in our subconscious. If they were, they wouldn't drive our behaviour.

When your childhood was crap, in whatever way, like mine was, you can find yourself living your life 'despite' and not 'because'. You are running away from something and not towards anything.

I was surviving. Each moment that passed more disappointing than the last.

And then, that past was reframed. The emotion that made it so crap was gone and now it is just a series of black and white photos in a photo album.
These days I am creating a new past, and new set of memories to reflect on at some later point. The things I do and the way I do them are not just about  memories for the little one but they are creating a new photo album for me - full of colourful photos.

It's still very early days. It's only a matter of a couple of months that I've been adding the colour photos to the album. But increasingly I am building a safe view to look back on. Something that when I reflect on it for guidance in how I should behave or act, is recent enough to carry no pain or sadness.

I can live my life and make my choices without having to look too far back - and live a life filled with fun and enjoyment and happiness.

However,  occasionally I have the need to access those old photo albums - like I will be doing this week when I attend this funeral. And though, in the main, the pain has gone from the majority of those memories, they are still there as black and white photos - and looking back through those albums makes me feel melancholy and sad.

This is my challenge right now. Knowing that there are times where those old photo albums need revisiting. But remembering as I do, that soon I will be putting them back on the shelf and returning to my life filled with colour and fun and new photo opportunities.

It's a tough one to remember. But I am determined that I now am in the right place to be able to do this. I have already achieved so much. Surely this is also something I am capable of....

A death in the family

On Sunday my great aunt Jean passed away at the grand old age of 83. She died of cancer, but to all accounts was as comfortable as possible when she died and she was surrounded by family.

Jean was my mother’s cousin and she was the matriarch of the family. She knew all the family history and had a big family of her own. She was a headmistress in a private school and lived a good life.

Whilst it is sad when someone special dies, in this case there is plenty to smile about in the life she lived.

The funeral will be next Friday in Cheshire and I decided I would go and take the little one. It will give her the chance to meet lots of family she has never seen (I haven’t seen them much myself). She will also love having a road trip with her mum! The hubby will stay at home.

My mother will go too of course and so I am going to travel via Anglesey to fetch her. The little one and I will stay on Anglesey for a few nights which will give her a bit of a holiday – lets face it, there are more fun things for a 4 year old to do than go to a funeral!

I am not telling the little one about all of this until just before. She will get really excited and has no concept of time yet so it really wouldn’t be fair. Also we’ve found that when she is very excited about something she wets the bed overnight – so I could do without that!

Inevitably, despite my new found happiness and love of life, anything where I “go back” stirs up the silt in the bottom of the jar. So I’m having a few battles in my head right now. Nothing major. Just challenges.

Trevor says the best thing to do is to not give those thoughts power – just laugh them off. Unfortunately it appears when I do that, the laugh is a bit maniacal! But it’s better than nothing so I will keep at it!

Good memories, bad memories

It's funny you know, how sorting out all those things in my head has allowed the fog to clear so that I can see the good times in my past as well as the bad. 

It has become like a photo album, where most of the horrible stuff is now just a series of black and white photos and the good stuff is in full colour. It has allowed me to recall moments with fondness instead of always looking back with pain. 

And now I am building happy memories with the little one. 

Tonight we went to the M&S cafe for dinner as we do once a week. She has been desperate to wear a 'schooliform' since she went back to school. Only the nursery kids can wear their own clothes but she doesn't care about that! So I bought her a bunch of white polo shirts for school and she loves that. 

So we went to the cafe with her in a white shirt. And had purple juice in a carton. Which she blew into.

It went everywhere. My response? "never mind". 

I will never shout at her for making a mess of her clothes. Children's feelings and memories are way more precious than their clothes. 

Where does that come from?

Bad memories. 

I used to get beaten for even the slightest stain on my clothes. I spent my life too terrified to do anything that might make a mess of them. When the inevitable did happen I remember spending ages in the school toilets scrubbing at my top or trousers to try and get rid of the stain. It never worked of course. It made it worse. And then there was that feeling of terror because at the end of school I would go home and face the consequences. 

So stains don't matter. Clothes can be washed and if that doesn't work we'll get new ones. My daughter's photo album will be filled with colourful pictures. 

Think it, Change it - The Business.

Going from nothing to a fully functioning business is not easy.

I really want to make Think it, Change it into a fully viable business asap.

Right now I'm focussing on using my Pocket Panic Buster to show what I can do. Lots of people have to deal with anxiety and when they see this working for them they might come to my site and look for something else I can help with.

1. Get articles out there.
I have written a post for the TalkHealth partnership Happy to write for more if anyone has any ideas.

2. Self-Help videos on YouTube
This proves the approach works and allows me to help lots of people for free. But it's pretty impractical to bring up a video when you are in the middle of an anxiety/stress attack so it needs a follow up product.

 

3. Create a product that someone can take away with them.
I have created the Pocket Panic buster which is either an MP3 download or, even better, available preloaded on an MP3 player along with a relaxation track. I have just sent 5 of these to bloggers to try out and do reviews on for me. It's a great way of reaching a wider audience and get's around the limitations people have on being able to play MP3s. You can literally carry it with you in your pocket. It is on special offer right now at only £10 for the MP3player, the Pocket Panic Buster track and the relaxation track.

4. Create a service offering that is accessible to all.
Through my Therapy beyond Geography model people can have a 30 minute session with me on Skype or Facetime to deal with phobias, anxiety, life coaching etc. This means that the online community can access therapy just as easily as the geographic people. Incidentally, through this approach I am also picking up local face-to-face clients.

You can see all my products in my store here

Or read about my Therapy Beyond Geography approach here.

It is now just over a month since I qualified. I really believe I am building something that will not just allow me to help as many people as possible, which is so important to me, but also build a fully functional business.

Play date

The Little One went to her friends after school to play.

Their mother sent me these photos

Hmm wonder which one the little one is? (clue: she’s the only girl in the gang)

Having way too much fun!

Joyville Cadbury’s loveliness!

“I like sweets mummy, but they’re not my favourite food. My favourite food is CHOCOLATE!”

Given the chance the little one would eat nothing but chocolate I think. Unfortunately it makes her go mental – so we limit what she can have.

However, when contacted by Cadbury Dairy Milk about Joyville, I selflessly thought of her first.

Look what arrived in the post today

There is an iPhone case (must find someone with an iPhone!) a little parachute, a usb drive and most importantly a Cadbury Dairy Milk Mini Bubbly bar!

You can see it’s still wrapped.

The little one is out until at least 3pm today.

It would be really mean if I scoffed it and didn’t save it for her wouldn’t it?

This is what it looks like.

I might have had a little try before the little one came home.

The bar is way too small for something so nice! I am using all my restraint to not scoff the lot. I really must love the little one!

I have travelled the world and can confirm you can’t beat Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate!

Have you got my ebook yet?

Today I got my first royalty cheque from June and July sales of my book.

£36.40! Not a huge amount but VERY exciting and more to come for the last bit of July and August!

There have been over 1100 downloads to-date. Over 50% were on the free download promo but that’s fine. It’s about getting it out there.

I think it’s reached a ceiling on promo through Social Media now though. I need to market it. So any ideas appreciated!

Want to know what people are saying about it?

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HANNAH SHINE

There isn't much I can add to the reviews already posted except to say that Dawn is a remarkable and resilient woman who has been transformed beyond recognition within the short space of a year. And she has written about her journey (in a writing style that you just can't put down), her triumphs and breakthroughs as she charts this amazing experience. It would make a brilliant movie...... the kind I love...... with a very happy ending.....
Her journey with cognitive hypnotherapy can be likened to a chrysalis changing into a beautiful butterfly - and when she looks at herself, she finds it hard to believe that this beautiful butterfly is indeed her......... Her honesty and openness are truly refreshing and inspiring.......

D. Dennington

I met Dawn through the Quest Institute when she was training and have followed the most recent part of her journey on her blog, so when she published this book I was already aware of some of her story.
However this book is so much more than her personal story, it about the journey of a brave woman working to take control of her life and become all that she can be.
I will be recommending this book to some of my clients as there is real insight into the journey of a client experiencing cognitive hypnotherapy, from the inside, with all the expectation, the highs and lows and subsequent personal growth.
I suspect this is just the first book from dawn as she will have so much more to share in the future as her life as a therapist, woman, mother and wife unfolds.

Copperhobnob

I've followed Dawn on Twitter for some time and to be honest, basically bought this book because it was the nice thing to do for a twitter contact.
I started to read it that night and i couldn't put it down. Brilliantly written, it is an account of how she overcame dreadful beginnings through cognitive hypnotherapy. Like the others, i am not 100% certain what i think of Cognitive Hypnotherapy but it doesnt matter. What comes across strongly is a message of hope, inspiration and the statement that it is possible to change your thoughts and feelings and attitudes towards traumatic events and move forward into the future.
The blog format works well in book form and Dawn carries you with her on her journey. Do read it!!

Lunchboxlulu "lotusflower_review"

Dawn's a very brave lady laying bare her journey from the abuse she suffered as a child, through the profound effect it had on her entire life, up to her epiphany - through the medium of Cognitive Hypnotherapy - that 'nothing needs to be the way it's alway been'. Read this book if you've ever known you needed to change something in your life, and be inspired to do something about it. It could be the start of something amazing.

Tricia-TD (Scotland UK)

Twitter, Facebook and read her Blog, so what I was going to read wasn't going to be anything new to me, or at least that's what I thought before I started reading her book.
The book is a condensed version of Dawn's blog, following her story of receiving Cognitive Hypnotherapy. It is a very personal and intimate journey spanning one year, which has changed Dawn's life in an amazing way. Reading about it in the book, compared to the blog, really shows how much Dawn progressed in that year. And the final chapter is written by her husband, who gives yet another insight into Dawn, and finishes the book off perfectly.
Dawn is now a qualified Cognitive Hypnotherapist herself, and I can personally vouch that it works, as Dawn has got me over my fear of putting my head under the water when I go swimming. Not as amazing as Dawn's story, but it is for me!
Dawn's book is a must read if you want to be left feeling inspired.

Neatybum

I'm not one for writing reviews usually, but felt this one deserved to have a mention. This has come straight from Dawn's heart. She doesn't hold anything back, and so as a reader, you get all the details. The nosey person I me likes that!
Dawn describes her journey of change in a way that evokes many emotions in the reader, and the light-hearted way of the writing means that those emotions are never overwhelming.
I was curious as to whether the journal style of writing would flow nicely, but it does, and it also meant that I could dip in and out easily, when I wanted to.

Amanda

I have followed Dawn's "journey" online so I was keen to read her book and was not disappointed.
The diary format works really well and although the book covers really dark issues it is by no means a depressing read.
A great book that I will recommend and no doubt I shall read again.
Thank you Dawn for being brave enough to share something so personal.

JillBrown

Being a series of blogs made this book very easy to read. It's a very brave story and very brave to share it so honestly and openly. It's also funny and moving at the same time. There was much in there that I think most of us can relate to in one way or another. Thank you Dawn for sharing your story and I know it will be an inspiration to many.

madeleineboerma

I have just finished reading the book and if you want to read a very personal, powerful, honest and true story, "Nothing needs to be the way it's always been" is just that! The journey of one woman who, against all odds, manages to create a new and happy life for herself. It's both witty and serious as well as personal and inspirational. I strongly believe in the power of taking response-ability and Dawn is doing so and at the same time sharing her process with us. She has managed to transform her blogposts into a page-turner book that I finished in one go, curious as to what she would be going through next. I would not be surprised if it inspires readers to investigate their own personal lifetravels and a desire to truly come "home" and be happy!

Orlando Larsson "OfOtherWorlds"

Wasn't quite sure what to expect from this but was pleasantly surprised. Its very much about the author's personal journey and transformation via Cognitive Hypnotherapy. Its really up to the reader to decide if CH would be for them or not. I'm not convinced but that doesn't detract from the book being a good read. I'm a fairly slow reader and don't have a huge concentration span so the blog-like entries worked well for me. If anyone reading this has been through some form of mental illness themselves then they will undoubtedly recognize themselves from time to time as the author's journey progresses. I know that's true for me. The writing style is very much down to earth and it flows easily which is good. Worth a read. It may also encourage others to write down their own experiences of illness and a blog style is a good way to do this.

 

Mr. W. M. Owens "Pendragon"

I'm not really someone who writes reviews of things. Basically i'm not very good with words, and besides I am a very lazy person at heart.
But I wanted to leave at least a few words on this to say how impressed I am. Now I could use a thousand words to say how cool and awesome this book is. But instead I will use facts.
I buy books off amazon weekly. I have thousands of books in all formats, and out of those many many books only three have ever made me leave a review. And this is one of them
So please. get this book. read this book. and leave a review.
I'm not saying this book will bring about world peace, but I am saying it may change your life for the better. And isn't that worth the risk of a few pound?
So click up there where is says purchase this item!!!!

Heather

I think this book sends out a really positive message. Dawn has been through a lot and managed to turn her life around despite the drawbacks. Her story is encouraging; although she has her down moments, overall I think she is a very strong lady and has come through smiling. I also like the format of the book as it enables the reader to identify with Dawn, following her rollercoaster of a journey from week to week. It has also given me an interest in the power of cognitive hynotherapy and I think it is something I may consider in the future. All in all, a very inspirational read.

Mrs. S. K. Mann "SusanKMann"

I met the author of this book Dawn on twitter and got chatting with her. I followed her rollercoaster of a journey on her blog, twitter and by meeting her in real life. Her journey through Cognitive Hypnotherapy has been an amazing one. One this book brings to life.
Dawn didn't had quite a traumatic childhood and this was taken with her into her adulthood. She has been through so much, it's heartbreaking to read, even as an adult she goes through so much heartache, but she's here and she's telling her tale and changing her life for the better.
This book is based on the last 12 months of Dawn's journey and is written in a diary format, which is a great way to follow. Once you start you will be sucked in and not able to put it down until the end.
At first I was initially sceptical about Cognitive Hypnotherapy but having followed this journey, I have had it myself and I am a firm believer this can work miracles. If you are sceptical, read this book, see how much it transformed her life. Dawn has come so far and continues to grow and help people every day. She's amazing. However, this book isn't all about the Hypnotherapy, it's not a self help book or one that goes on about how wonderful this therapy is. This book is about a personal insight into someones life.
This is one of the bravest and honest books I have ever read. Read this book, it will open your mind and make you look at yourself differently, you won't regret it. Grab the tissues for the tears, but there will be a lot of smiling in there too.

Louise Barrett "LJB41"

I initially 'met' Dawn online and we talked about running and doing the London Marathon, we continued to 'chat' on Twitter so when her book was released I bought it because that seemed the nice thing to do. I had no preconceptions about it as I had only been speaking to her for a few months and hadn't read much of her blog.
The book was a bit of a revelation to me! I had no idea some of the things she had been through. It turned out she had lost a child, as have I, but that is were our similarities ended. She had a very sad childhood which had impacted on her adult life. This book is a journey through the last 12 months; Dawn has worked hard with Trevor to work out her feeling and memories. I don't want to give away much but this book really is an insight to Cognitive Hypnotherapy and how it can be used to achieve many positive things. I liked the diary aspect of the book; I think it worked really well.
Well done Dawn, you were really brave to be so honest with this book. Interestingly as I was reading I expected to feel sorry for you by the end for everything you have been in through, in fact I felt immensely proud of you for dealing with it so well and I am really chuffed for you that all is working out, one day at a time.

David Mitchell

Just after I got a tablet again, a long time Twitter friend publishes a book. I bought this for myself (not a review freebie) because I was interested in it for a couple of reasons other than knowing the author. Firstly, I was very curious about whether a blog would work transformed into a book format. Secondly, I am very interested in how people have and experienced a paradigm shift in thinking, belief, perspective etc. This lead me to purchase a type of book I would never normally read. I'll try not to include any spoilers below but read at your own risk :-)
Okay - first point - does it work in a book format? Yes it does. There is a nice preface and a prologue that act as solid bookends for the rest of the diary/blog format. It is easy to get into and very addictive to read. There's a lot of emotional moments (happy and sad), family drama and even the adventure of a major sporting event. Being a near daily blog, there's recording the day to day activities of Hubby and 'Little one' which help lighten some of the tougher moments. Some entries are written in totally different styles which keeps things varied too.
A large part of the book is taken up with Dawn's interest and journey into 'Cognitive Hypnotherapy'. I will state clearly that I am not sure what I make of Cognitive Hypnotherapy and any form of hypnosis or therapy makes me very cautious, dismissive and cynical. Probably overly so. However that's not really the point of this book so don't be put off by that. It's about the human journey and the drama in an extraordinarily eventful year or so. Now that I typed that I realise this book has quite a pace!
For less than a cup of coffee, this book certainly delivers and is a journey well worth taking. It has really got me thinking about myself and the things I assume will always have to be a certain way. Even if you are not interested in the cognitive stuff or don't usually read this type of book, I can recommend it. The format is innovative and each entry is well written. It will certainly stick in your mind for a good while.

LyndaH

A rollercoaster of a read, tears, happiness and most of all hope! We often repeat patterns of behaviour that just don't work but Dawn's book shows that things can and do change, maybe not overnight, maybe not a quick fix but finally a long term change and the chance to be happy now x

Fromsnickerstomarathon

This is an honest and moving account of one woman's journey to change her life through a series of Cognitive Hypnotherapy sessions. Without giving too many of the details away, what Dawn has achieved with the help of her therapist Trevor, is absolutely incredible.
The book is a collection of blog posts, written over the space of around year. They chart Dawn's transformation from someone who, following a traumatic childhood, literally hated herself and dreaded each day to someone who is now genuinely happy and planning for an exciting future.
It's an emotional read, which had me close to tears on a couple of occasions, but mainly left me full of admiration for Dawn and wanting to understand more about Cognitive Hypnotherapy technique. It's really well written and engaging - a real page turner and great value for money.
Highly recommended!