Once more I have found myself in a position where I am struggling. This time it is two fold.
1. I have been given the lead on a large project at work. Whilst I have no concerns about my abilities as a subject matter expert on this project, it is also requiring project management. i.e. I need to gather and record key activities, owners, milestones and risks. I need to chase people to keep on track and I need to keep senior stakeholders informed of progress. I am a big picture person. I don’t think in terms of detail or risk. I don’t work to deadlines unless they are next day – I certainly don’t think 6 months ahead
2. My weight continues to challenge me. My habits around food and activity are generally pretty good. My portions are small, I am eating more fruit and I rarely eat sweets/chocolate etc. I have granary bread when I eat bread and I cook food in the grill and buy lean meat. I snack on nuts and sometimes crisps. I have reduced the milk in my coffee so I am not drinking so much milk. I make sure I do enough activity to meet my Nike Fuelband goal of 2000 points a day. And yet it doesn’t change. It has been suggested that I need to set goals but I just can’t get interested in doing that. It does nothing for me.
Today I went for a walk to clear my head. The snow has meant I haven’t been getting my daily run and I need it for thinking space.
Some way into my walk I realised what the problem was.
I don’t work well to deadlines/goals that are not immediate.
When I was at school and university I revised for exams the day before.
In work, I have only ever been able to produce good work when up against a tight deadline. No matter how much I try to prepare in advance, I just can’t.
And as I walked I realised I just don’t think that way. I don’t plan. I don’t work out risk. I don’t work my way through stuff. I just act. I just do it.
I have tried creating “false” deadlines but they don’t work either – I am never fooled by them!
That’s why it seems that I do loads of stuff. It’s because when I have an idea I have to just do because otherwise, if I plan to do it at a later point I will never get round to it.
So goals are meaningless to me.
And project management is my idea of hell. Which is a bit of a problem right now.
But I realised that I can complete work to a high standard to tight deadlines. So what I need to work out how to do is change what I need to do to fit in with my model of the world.
I have some ideas that I am going to try. I think I might be able to find a way of making this work.