I didn’t over indulge this year. I tried. But I just don’t want to any more. Thanks to my slimpod I eat small portions for my meals and often don’t finish what’s on my plate. I feel full very quickly.
Thanks to some of the other work I’ve done over the last few months I make healthier choices on food now. I haven’t had a McDonalds for over 2 months and that’s despite taking the little one there occasionally. If I go and fetch one I make myself something for lunch when I get home. If we sit in I just have a coffee.
I have also cut down on my snacks between meals massively and have eaten more fruit than I have in my whole life I think! When I want a snack I choose fruit. That’s what I want.
So this Xmas day was a bit pathetic really.
Breakfast : 2 small pieces of granary bread with grilled bacon
Mid-morning: 1 mince pie
Lunch: 1 small piece of turkey, a handful of sprouts, a couple of small pieces of roast potato
Mid-afternoon: half a small individual xmas pudding with a small amount of custard
Dinner: 4 crackers and a small piece of brie
After: 3 chocolates from a box of chocolates (it took me 3 weeks to eat the whole box and that was with the hubby and the little one helping!)
So not really over indulgence is it?
This is not un-typical of a day for me now. The only addition to my normal day is the mid-afternoon pudding and the chocolates. I almost never eat anything after I’ve had dinner in the evenings.
I haven’t been running much in December but I am keeping active and will keep that up.
So why am I not losing size?
For all the changes I haven’t seen any clothes feeling looser.
Technically that can’t be possible so there is something else keeping the weight on.
And I was asked “Why do you want to be a size 10/12”
It’s a good question.
Why am I not happy as I am?
For me size 10/12 represents the person I was when I went to University. Although I wasn’t happy in myself until this year, my university years were the happiest of my life (I met my hubby there amongst other things!)
When I went to university I realised I could leave my past behind and choose who I wanted to be. I was reborn. All the years following that time were based on the person I chose to be – realising that people only saw what I chose to show them.
I used this for the years after. I lived my life as an actress – presenting a facade of what I needed to be. My weight was part of that. A fat suit that hid me inside and protected me.
In 2012 I stopped being an actress. For the first time I have been me and been happy. Everything has changed inside of me.
So it was only reasonable for me to expect the outside to change too.
But it hasn’t.
There is something in my subconscious still trying to protect me. Something inside of me is keeping my fat suit in place
Because with the level of eating I do and the level of exercise I do I should be at my target size by now.
Now I know I can do a blitz of exercise etc probably to get to where I want to be. But the thing I love so much about the slimpod is that it is a permanent change in your thinking. So each thing that changes becomes the new you – not a temporary activity to reach a particular goal.
Whatever I do to get to my target size will be something I can do every day for the rest of my life without effort. It will be the new me.
So I’m a little frustrated right now. It’s something I will work on. One day something will change and I will continue to progress to the size I want to be.