It’s been a week now since my session with Trevor.
With each session the changes become more fundamental to who I am. I am still amazed by the sort of changes I see…in the most unexpected ways.
And because of this I have learnt to spend the days and weeks after a session pattern matching – looking for what I call sames and differents. What has changed and what hasn’t changed.
So what differences have I noticed this time?
Well the first and most obvious (and expected) change is my relationship with food. Countless times through the day I find my stomach rumbling. Food is no longer out of control like it was in the run up to the session. I am no longer an driven by the need to constantly eat. I might glance at my watch and see it’s 1:30 and realise I should probably grab lunch. I’ll have a sandwich on 2 slices of granary bread and that’s plenty. It reminds me of those early days of being on a slimpod and I am thrilled to be back into that way of thinking. It was my primary motivation for the session although I realise now I had so much more to sort. The interesting thing now will be to see if the weight leaves my belly this time because before it was going off my top half and bottom half but not really shifting from my middle.
The next change is a less obvious one. I am able to be kind to myself. I have always been driven to do more and more. There was an inherent feeling that if I didn’t keeping pushing forward that there was an ‘or else…’ but I didn’t know what the or else was. This week has been the busiest week ever. I have seen 8 clients and done 2 talks. And I have started to consider limiting future activities to concentrate on what I have already created. This is unheard of! Even the concept that I would not do something because it puts too much pressure on me was alien.
I am not quite sure how to express the next change because I don’t really get what it’s all about yet. The other evening I was settled down in front of the TV. I decided I should get into my pyjamas. It was 8pm. Now this may not seem strange to any of you but I have *never* got into my pj’s earlier. I stay dressed until I go to bed and get dressed as soon as I wake up. In fact, until recently I used to wear clothes to bed (shorts and t-shirt or tracky bottoms and t-shirt). But I just wanted to be comfortable and for once I was.
My head is quieter. It used to be racing constantly with loads of thoughts…not always negative and judgemental but those thoughts were very easily brought forward. It felt like everything was about me even though I know it wasn’t. I am still. In the moment. Enjoying the moment. I love this change. It is a sense of peace…something I thought I’d already achieved but now I can see I hadn’t.
As you can see you have to be really tuned in to notice some of this stuff…to realise that it’s because of the session and different from how you’ve always been.
I love it. I am happy. I am here, now. I no longer need to drag a cart behind me with the weight of my ‘story’ on it for everyone to see.
There are always things that remain the same. Some are part of who I am. Some have not been affected by my sessions. Some have not been affected by them yet…
So what is the same?
Well sleep is still unsettled. I don’t quite know why. The dreams are not good but are very different to the bad dreams I used to have. It might just be my head working through stuff. Maybe they will fade in time.
My skin seems to be worse…it’s like knowing that the weight is inevitably going to go my body is finding some other way of going into protection. But it’s only a week. I know from experience it takes at least 2-3 weeks for the changes to settle down into a new normal and the more fundamental the work the longer it takes.
I’m happy with the changes. I’m happy.
I feel really lucky and very privileged to have Trevor’s help to get me to this place. He is a pretty special person. I have no doubt that it’s his skills, understanding, and willingness to do whatever is necessary that has helped me transform so much.