The Moiderer

Weekend Snapshots

It wasn’t the best of weekends to be honest.

A very good friend died at the start of the week.

The hubby has been really ill and understandably grumpy so I was running around after him and getting nowhere.

And work …well I can’t talk much about that here but suffice to say I have this amazing future ahead of me but it’s out of reach. It’s like I’m running towards it but on a treadmill. It doesn’t matter whether I sprint or jog, I get no closer. All I know is that I can’t stop. I feel trapped and hopeless right now and that really affected me at the weekend.

That said I still managed to do plenty with the little one.

She had a birthday party in a soft play on Saturday so I left her to it and went for a run in the sunshine round the local park.

I walked the first bit because I ended up chatting to the hubby on the phone. It was nice to have a run.

I went to look at cars with the little one on Saturday. She chose this one

But I’m looking at downgrading mine and trying to find a cheaper 4x4

On Sunday I watched the marathon with excitement. It was great to watch it on the telly and remember parts of the course and it actually really made me feel great about running it last year. I wore my finisher t-shirt all day!

The little one was going a little stir crazy though so I took her to the park for a while

I even finished the weekend with another 5km run on Sunday evening.

I had calmed down enough by Sunday to enjoy myself a bit. Just in time to get wound up again for Monday morning!

First ever sleepover!

Over the weekend I decided to take the opportunity to let the little one have her first ever sleepover at our house.

She turns 5 in July and had enjoyed sharing a room with a friend while we were in Aviemore on holiday.

So on Friday evening I fetched them both from a friends house and brought them back here.

Bedtime is normally 7pm for the little one but as we didn’t get home until close to 7 I let them stay up playing until 8pm.

I put them both to bed and read a story.

Then went back downstairs to lay bets with the hubby on what time they would actually get to sleep.

They had a great time. Chatting. Playing games. Bouncing on the bed.

Every now and then they came out of the room “I’m hungry, I’m thirsty etc.”

Each time I settled them back I tried to persuade them to sleep using various different tactics

At 9:30 I thought I’d cracked it. I told them about dreamland. A place the little one goes to when she sleeps with a flying horse that carries her past hot chocolate trees to a huge bumpy slide.

It was quiet.

Then it wasn’t!

It was 11pm by the time they dropped off!

They were up again at 7am!

So we went to McDonalds for brekkie and then the cinema before dropping her friend off home.

I loved her having a friend over and she really enjoyed it. We will do it again but not until they’ve both had a chance to fully catch up on sleep!

Thinking Slimmer. Nearly 2 years

At the end of May 2011 I came across this thing called Thinking Slimmer.

Lots of people on Twitter were talking about it and getting good results. When I read their blogs it was just a download that you listened to. It made you feel great about yourself and lose weight. No willpower needed.

Scam. Obviously. Like those ads you see on Facebook.

And yet these people were friends on Twitter. People I trusted and knew.

So I figured for £29.99 it was worth the risk. I bought the “Drop 2 Dress Sizes” CD so I had the chance to put it on any device (it doesn’t say anything about dresses by the way!)

I started listening every day like it say.

I didn’t read anything that came with it. Because I had the CD something messed up and I didn’t get any of the daily emails. I didn’t log the positives. I didn’t set goals.

I figured it would never work for me and said as much on Twitter.

I was caught by surprise when Sandra, the head honcho at Thinking Slimmer read my tweet and offered to talk to me to see why it wouldn’t work. I don’t really do talking but it was such a bold move I agreed.

A short conversation with Sandra and she had sussed me out. A childhood filled with abuse meant that I had many issues. And yet she still believed the slimpods would work for me. So I persevered and also arranged to go and see a Cognitive Hypnotherapist. My life was transformed by Trevor Silvester who it turns out is the voice and the genius behind the way the slimpods work. Anyway that’s a different story.

Even before I went to see Trevor things were working. Weight was going. Habits were changing.

It took time.

Snacking started to reduce first.

It was a long time before my portion sizes changed at meal times.

It was even longer before the choices I made around food changed.

But the weight still came off.

By the time I ran the London Marathon in April 2012 (something I would never have done before Thinking Slimmer) I had taken 6 large black bin bags of clothes to the charity shop and was wearing size 14 jeans. I kept the size 24 pair of trousers (that were a bit tight!) so I could see how far I had come.

In April 2012 I attended a black tie event in the dress you see me in at the middle of the picture above.

And then I reached a plateau. I eventually stopped listening to the slimpod because all the behaviours around food had changed. I didn’t need it any more. I haven’t listened for at least 6 months.

But my body stubbornly stuck at a size 14. Despite being very happy in myself. Despite making healthy choices around food and eating little. Despite running every day.

After a while of wallowing (poor me, I’m stuck here) I decided I need to do something different to jump start my system back into weight loss.

I came across the 5:2 fasting approach . This is a lifestyle approach that takes us back to caveman days. The idea is that you fast for 2 days and eat normally for 5. Thanks to the Slimpods, my ‘normal’ days are very regulated so I just needed to do the 2 fasting days. On these you eat less than 500 calories across 2 meals. This keeps your body working but doesn’t give you enough for energy so your body burns your fat.

I am now 8 weeks in and the difference is very tangible. I am losing weight and size again. The picture of me in the dress on the right was taken yesterday. The left was this time last year. I have been a size 14 ever since that picture was taken last year.

Things are changing again.

But what shouldn’t be lost here is that thanks to the slimpods I have gone from a size 24 to a 14 and kept the weight off with no issues. It has been easy and it has been permanent.

My goal is a size 10/12 and I am getting there again.

Elizabeth

I have a certain attitude to Social Media.

I love it and have many great connections but am very aware that if I was in the middle of a field with no connections that most of the people I talk to simply wouldn’t exist. For the 2400+ followers I have on Twitter I know most of them only by their Twitter name.

We share the trials and tribulations of life. We watch TV together. We laugh together and we comfort each other through dark times.

But even so, you only ever know what people type. What they choose to show. You can never truly know someone that you have only spoken to on Twitter.

However sometimes a crossover happens. A connection so strong that it moves beyond Twitter. To email, Skype or even face to face.

Elizabeth was one of those connections.

We started talking on Twitter. @IkenCEO.

We shared a common business background and ended up having a Skype to share ideas on some of her business challenges. We started playing Words With Friends together (online version of scrabble) and it has a chat feature.

We started chatting without the constraints of a 140 characters in Twitter. Soon we moved on to email and our connection grew stronger.

She used some of the lessons I was going through on my transformational journey to help her with her relationship with her mother. She helped me look at things in different ways but was always so supportive in the way she did it. She made me feel safe talking to her and created a relationship where we could talk about anything.

We talked about meeting at some point. She lived down south and I live up north so it was never going to be easy.

Then at the start of the year she told me she had cancer. And it was all through her body.

I was devastated as I know her family would be. She was brave about it despite the fear of the diagnosis. She chose not to have Chemotherapy because of how ill it would make her just for the sake of prolonging her life a small amount. She chose quality over quantity.

Today, I found out from her daughter on Twitter that Elizabeth had died.

Appropriate really to find out in such a way.

In her death, we have lost someone very special. She clearly connected with many others too. I will miss her terribly and my thoughts go out to her family.

To give you an insight into what a truly lovely person she was, I want to share with you 40 things she wrote in my 40th Birthday card. She knew how much I was struggling. Bear in mind, this list is from a person I have never physically met

Forty things about, or for, Dawn

1. Life is a marathon, there to be run
2. Angels come in the shape of dinner ladies (blog readers won’t understand this – it’s a childhood reference)
3. The little one loves her mummy unconditionally
4. Heaven is the belief you have done your best
5. Starved child, Nourished adult
6. Forgiving others, hard on self
7. Championed by the hubby
8. Lovable
9. Change expert
10. Starbucks rules OK
11. Nice butt
12. Persistence personified
13. Two miles a day is enough
14. Inspired and Inspiring
15. Climber of roofs
16. Shit happens
17. Lighter of candles
18. Endorphin generator
19. Bringer of new days
20. Growing in faith
21. Giving makes Dawn whole
22. Leaper of chasms
23. Seeker of forgiveness
24. Blessed by hubby
25. Failure is allowed, indeed necessary at times
26. Happiness is elusive, wholeness isn’t
27. Trevors are generally very special people
28. Giver and receiver of love
29. Not being miserable is a choice
30. Free to laugh, free to cry
31. An expanding circle of hugs
32. A slap in the face with dew drizzled cobwebs can be very healing (who knew?)
33. Excellence award winner
34. The past is another country
35. Sisterhood is generally worth the effort
36. There’s only one way to eat a satsuma (another childhood reference that blog readers won’t get)
37. Imbued with Adam and the love he brought
38. Lighter of eyes and lives
39. Speaker of healing words
40. If there were a God he would look down at Dawn and be pleased with his hand work

As you can imagine the tears are flowing as I write this.

Other than Adam, Elizabeth is the only person I have lost that I cared about. Before her I lived in such a protected shell that emotions weren’t allowed.

I miss her and will miss her terribly.

When she knew she was dying, she asked me to promise her I would believe in myself and the truth of my story. I told her, as tears rolled down my cheeks that it was unfair of her to ask that under the circumstances. She apologised and asked me to forgive the intrusion.

She touched my life in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible.

I will miss her x

For the little one

I love that you can sing

without caring what we think

I love to watch your face

as you guzzle down a drink

 

I love that when we go out

You run and and hop and skip

And how you hold me tight

When you stumble up and trip

 

I love that happy smile

I see on your face all day

I love the way you hug me

When I’ve returned from being away

 

I love that you can be a child

With all the things that brings

From cheeky smiles and giggles

When you do those childish things

 

But the thing I love most of all

Is that you be who you want to be

Without those horrid childhood things

That totally screwed up me.

 

And every day that passes by

Where I marvel as I see

You are the most amazing child

And to think that’s thanks to me.

Think, Change, Become Coaching

As I’ve spent more time as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I have increasingly discovered that the experience I have from my work life has really helped me in my client relationships. Whether it is through finding the right way to ask questions, understanding what people’s goals really are or just being able to move from a big picture plan to detailed actions, my experience over the last 20 years or so in the corporate world has helped a lot.

When I launched Think it, Change it I included Life Coaching as part of the services I offered.

I’ve found it’s a very popular part of what I do. Many of us are stuck in life, not just in work. And combining therapy with coaching is a very effective approach.

So I decided it was time to make something more of my experience and build a specific Life Coaching brand.

Welcome to Think, Change, Become

This is a 6 month coaching package where I will be using my business skills and my Cognitive Hypnotherapy skills to help you work out who you want to be and take the steps to get there.

Each piece of the pie takes 2 sessions. Sessions are 1 month apart to ensure change happens. It’s a flexible model so if we need to spend a little more time we can. The beauty of this model is that I can also unblock any issues from the past that may be limiting your future.

The other great thing about this model is that we can do it exclusively online if necessary. For each session there is some pre-work and some tasks to complete after.

Over the next couple of months I will be working with a few key people to refine the model and I will be building the website (it’s live right not but still under construction as I wait for the new logo)

www.thinkchangebecome.com

I have also created a Facebook page which I would really appreciate a few Likes on.

http://www.facebook.com/ThinkChangeBecome

So watch this space for opportunities for coaching and also opportunities to train as a Think, Change, Become life coach.

I’ve had a week off!

You’ve seen some posts already but here is a collection of photos from my week off

6 Weeks of 5:2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is even more interesting is this picture where the photo on the left is a week earlier than the photo on the right

I have now been on the Fast Diet for 6 weeks. Last week I kind of had a week off because I was off work and there was no particular routine to my days.

I tried a couple of Fast days but by the time I got to late afternoon I had to stop. I just didn’t have the willpower. But I did miss it and the best thing about being back at work today has been getting back on a fast day.

I also was quite poor at sticking to my Mutu exercises so rather than progressing to the last phase last Friday I am going to stick with Phase 3 this week.

The hubby tells me that I have quite obviously lost weight on the top half and on my legs. This is leaving me with a significant issue around my middle. Everything else shrinking out of the way is leaving me with an even more pronounced spare tyre of fat round my middle.

I am really hoping the Mutu will sort that. If not I am going to have to find a more dramatic way of working on this middle section.

Yesterday I chucked a pair of jeans away. Even with a belt on they are now too big. It’s a shame because I liked them.

The combats I am wearing in the picture on the left are also in danger of going the same way.

A belt that wouldn’t fasten 6 weeks ago now fastens 2 notches in.

A bra that has always been tight is now fastening on the tightest hooks.

So in my Beat the Body campaign, the Fast Diet is helping me get there. But I have a lot more to do if I am going to sort out this middle section and get to my target size 10/12 jeans.

See my previous posts on this:

5:2 and me

Fast diet part 2

Fasting and fat

5:2, slimpods and mutu

Josh’s 5th Birthday Party

Yesterday the little one went to another birthday party. As they get older, the parties get more creative. I guess there is a sweet spot after which the parties become more about friends hanging out together than playing. I think at 5 years old, we’re pretty close to that sweet spot.

This party was a superhero theme.

I made some Gluten free cakes to take

I got the little one a Spiderman outfit but she wasn’t that impressed (waste of money!) so I made her a super outfit instead

She loved it.

I took my face painting kit and kept myself occupied while the kids played happily

Batman and Robin made an appearance. After the little one was saying “I didn’t know Batman and Robin were real!!” I had to let her know that they were adults dressed up. We spend a lot of time telling her that the stuff on TV and films comes out of someone’s head and isn’t real – to stop her being scared of all the monsters she sees – so if they were real, everything else would be too.

She had a great time.

On the way home we agreed her birthday party would be at our house (it’s in the summer holidays and there won’t be that many people coming) and it will be a Scooby Doo theme with a Scooby and Shaggy cake. I have some ideas already!

Bye Bye Bunny

Last year the cat brought home 2 baby bunnies within the space of a week.

He played with them, as cats do, but didn’t appear to do them any damage.

With the first one, I didn’t like to release it straight away because I knew he’d just bring it back in half eaten. So I kept it for a while. And bought a hutch

The second one joined the first but was not in as good a state. Although it had no obvious injuries it was far more frightened.

I got them injected and looked after them. The little one called the first one Clank and the second Clunk.

Unfortunately, after a few months Clunk suddenly died.

But Clank seemed happy enough for a wild rabbit in a cage.

The vet confirmed they were both girls so we didn’t have to do anything to them.

The little one like the idea of a rabbit but wasn’t that interested in it and I resolved that once we got to Spring I would let it go again.

Unfortunately we had so much snow that it was delayed but the other day it was bright and sunny and I decided it was time for Clank to return to the wild. A full grown and healthy rabbit, she had a good year and has the best chance of surviving right now.

It was a bit tentative about being outside but eventually hopped away. I like to think that when I do my morning runs I will pass it hopping around on the path like I do the other rabbits.