And yet it doesn’t.
Nothing has changed. And yet everything has changed.
I remain in limbo.
My head has not recovered it’s sharpness.
Business is going brilliantly. I don’t remember the last day I had without any clients scheduled. A 4 client day is becoming more normal. The other week I saw 19 clients in a week.
My future is full of possibilities.
The book promotion isn’t going as well as I’d like. I want to be selling copies in the thousands not the hundreds. Everyone who reads it loves it. I just need more people to read it!
The little one finished school for the summer yesterday. We have plans for a few trips in the UK and hopefully we will have friends come and stay with us. I am very proud of the little girl she has become. I went to her end of term assembly yesterday and found tears were welling up in my eyes as I watched her play the xylophone and sing. I am so very proud of her.
I have tried to do a few things to share my story. I want people to know that happiness is possible no matter what your start in life or how old you are (I have just helped an 84 year old man in the US get rid of anxiety he’s had his whole life). I don’t want to talk about what happened to me other than as a convincer that change is possible. However the Universe has different ideas. From the not guilty verdict, to the Huffington Post not printing an blog post – it seems I am not destined to use my past to help others change their present.
So I’m listening. Maybe it keeps me in my story to make use of my story. Maybe I should just fully let go and move forward with the amazing family and friends I now have.
And they are amazing.
I must be the luckiest person alive. The level of support I have is off the scale. And belief. So many people believe in me and are genuinely happy for me. If ever I needed proof that I am not a broken evil person I just need to look all around me. They say we are a factor of the 6 people closest to us – well if that’s true then my friends and hubby are pretty special.
So I’m having a few days off and taking a road trip with the little one, a friend and her girls. I’m hoping that I can use that time to clear my head. To move out of this limbo I’m in right now. Nothing from my past matters. My future is full of possibility. I just need to find the bridge and cross it.