In August 2013 I nervously picked up the phone to the NSPCC and reported a historical abuse case. It was 30 years after the abuse had taken place.
In October 2013 I did a first interview with police in a local police station.
The case was handed over to a specialist unit in North Wales police.
They did not have enough information in the written statement so I travelled to North Wales in January 2014 and spent 3+ hours doing an interview to video
The following months were spent with the police gathering evidence and interviewing relevant parties.
In November 2014 the CPS approved the case to go to court.
On January 26th he made his final solo appearance in court and entered a plea of Not Guilty against all counts raised against him.
On 18th May I have to attend court as a witness to the case I raised.
I will have to watch the video once before then and once again in court. The video will be played as my evidence. All those people are going to hear the sordid humiliating details of what he did to me. And I will have to be there while they do.
I will be cross examined. I will be asked questions in public about the way I was abused.
I am worried about so many things but one of my biggest worries is having an abreaction while on the stand. I know when I try and talk about this stuff my head shuts me down. I stop being able to move or speak. I shake. I can hear everything around me but I can’t respond. What happens if I do that in court? It happened during the video interview and the policewoman was really worried about me.
I started this process so that he could not do the same to others. I was kind of hoping he was dead but he isn’t and he’s young enough still to be a threat.
This process is rubbish for closure. It’s like picking a scab that hasn’t really healed properly. You keep making it worse and it hurts. I would never have done this if it was about me – it’s not worth it.
Now I’ve been through this much I will continue until I achieve what is needed – that he can’t harm any other kids again. And maybe there will be people he’s already hurt who watch for the wings and know that he has been found out.
It’s a horrendous process that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy – but it’s worth it.